2008-2009 School Year

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

This morning I want to put the "parenting" spotlight on an organization that serves children and adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.  It is the nation's largest family-based organization serving people affected by AD/HD.  Currently it has 200 chapters with a growing membership.  This organization is usually referred to as CHADD.  Since 1987, CHADD has worked on both the federal and state levels to change attitudes about attention-deficit/hyperactivity and also raise public awareness.  In the past 21 years, this organization of parents and adults with AD/HD has forged relationships with researchers, physicians, volunteer leaders, and advocates from other mental health organizations.  Because of this grassroots, social movement, our country has seen impressive gains in the areas of public policy, media representation, and public perception of AD/HD.

Locally, Wilmington has two Moms, Karen Laughlin and Jennifer Johnson who organize and coordinate the activities of the CHADD affiliate in the Lower Cape Fear region.  Between them the 2 moms have three children who have been diagnosed with AD/HD.  These mothers in their quest to help their own children have single handedly resurrected a former Wilmington CHADD chapter.  At the YWCA they now run a support meeting for parents and also one for adults with AD/HD.  The adults meet on the first Tuesday of each month at 7pm and parents meet on the second Monday of each month at 7pm at the YWCA.

The Parent Support Group provides moms and dads of children with AD/HD the opportunity to come together with other parents whose families are similar to their own.  During the meetings, parents share their concerns, struggles, successes, and learn from each other about which strategies do and don't work.  Every few months, speakers are invited to talk with the group.

This month Karen and Jennifer are trying to raise awareness about AD/HD.  There are 3 things that these two moms want the public to know.  First-AD/HD is a real disorder-a neurological disorder characterized by differences in brain structure and function which can affect behaviors, thoughts, and emotions.  Also genetics can play an important role.  Second-there are many treatment options such as parenting, behavior modification, educational adaptations and medication.  Third-left untreated AD/HD can have devastating consequences such as poor school performance, involvement with the juvenile or criminal justice systems or a greater risks and rates of auto accidents and so on.

Karen and Jennifer are spotlighting their awareness efforts with some great programming.  On Friday, October 17th the local CHADD Professional Advisory Board will talk about AD/HD.   This free information session will be held at the YWCA on S. College Road from 6:30-8:30pm, you know at the corner with Holly Tree and across from Krispy Kreme!  Then on Monday October 20th, to celebrate the 8 gold metals won by Michael Phelps at the recent Olympics Games in China an AD/HD Awareness Free Swim will be offered which will be at the YWCA under the bubble.  Michael Phelps has AD/HD and was introduced to swimming at an early age by his mother.  CHADD volunteers will be at the pool from 5:30-7:30pm to answer questions.  Then on Wednesday, October 22nd, there will be an AD/HD Day at Monkey Joe's which is also on S. College Road across from the YWCA at Long Leaf Mall.  

In conclusion as parents, Karen and Jennifer are advocating for their children.  They are working to educate the community about AD/HD and correct misconceptions.  The two moms are trying to let people know about the resources that are available in the community such as CHADD support groups.  They also want other parents to know that there can be a "level playing field" for their children.  Karen and Jennifer know the challenges faced in learning, regulating emotions, being organized, and relating to others.  These moms understand what it means when your child's behavior is interpreted incorrectly.

So come out Friday October 17th and talk to Karen and Jennifer at the YWCA, on Monday October 20th bring your bathingsuits and swim at the YWCA in celebration of Michael Phelps accomplishment whose mother advocated for him and on Wednesday October 22nd jump at Monkey Joe's at Long Leaf Mall.  If you want to read more about AD/HD or about Karen and Jennifer pick up a copy of the October issue of WILMINGTON PARENT.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Every year the October issue of WORKING MOTHER Magazine lists the "100 Best Companies with Jobs for Moms."  This issue is now out and filled with some valuable information.  This year the magazine features a nice pullout section listing all 100 companies with a chart layout of the company profile, flexibility, parental leave, childcare, and work/life.  The company profile spells out the percentage of women employed, number of U.S. employees, and number of years on the WORKING MOTHER list.  Flexibility spells out access to telecommuting, job-sharing, part-time work, compressed work weeks, and flextime.  Parental Leave entails phase-back programs, paid weeks for adoption, paid weeks for new dads, paid weeks for new moms, and additional job-guaranteed weeks provided past the 12 weeks of maternity leave.  The section on Child Care looks at back-up child care, in-home, back-up child care, company sponsored child care and on or near site child care.  The last category of Work/Life explores specific special-needs programs, health insurance for part-timers, and On and Off ramp programs such as sabbaticals.

The Top Ten employers listed in alphabetical order are Abbott, a pharmaceutical manufacturer headquartered in Abbott Park, Illinois; Baptist Health South Florida, hospital chain and health care provider headquartered in Coral Gables, Fla; Bristol-Myers Squibb, biopharmaceutical producer headquartered in New York City; Ernst & Young, financial services company headquartered in New York City; IBM, provider of global information technology headquartered in Armonk, NY; KPMG, provider of tax services headquartered in New York City, The McGraw-Hill Companies, educational materials provider, headquartered in New York City.  Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman, law firm headquartered in New York City; Price-Waterhouse-Coopers, accounting firm, headquartered in New York City and S.C. Johnson &Son manufacturer of consumer products headquartered in Racine, WI.

There are some North Carolina based companies on the 100 List.  They are in alphabetical order Bank of America in Charlotte, Blue Cross and Blue Shield in Durham, Pitt County Memorial Hospital in Greenville, and Wachovia in Charlotte.

There are some companies among the 100 that have ties to Wilmington such as Allstate Insurance, DuPont, GE, Marriott International, Merrill Lynch & Co., MetLife, and Verizon Communications.

Of the 100 companies listed all provide prenatal programs, flextime, telecommuting, telecommuting on a part-time basis, on-site lactation or Mother's rooms, financial planning services, and elder-care referral services.

As we all know work/life perks are expensive and are under fire.  It is interesting to note that some of the companies with these perks are also some of the companies that we see listed in recent bail out headlines.  In pursuing the list some names that jump out are Chrysler, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Goldman Sachs & CO., Lehman Brothers, and Morgan Stanley.

Since our country is possibly on the cusp of making history by electing a female vice-president, I thought I would share the stats about the gender division concerning the heads of the 100 Best Companies.  First, none of the top ten companies are run by females.  Next only 11 of the 100 have female leaders.  They are Deloitte, a financial services company based in New York City; Dow Corning, manufacturing company based in Midland, MI; Harvard University, educational institution based in Cambridge, MA; Bain & Co., management consulting firm based in Boston, MA; Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, a network of pediatric healthcare facilities based in Atlanta, GA; University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics, health-care services provider based in Madison, WI; Liz Claiborne, clothing designer based in New York City; Arnold and Porter, law firm based in Washington, DC; Kraft Foods, food producer based in Northfield, IL; FINRA, regulatory firm based in Washington, DC; and The Phoenix Companies, an insurance firm based in Hartford, CT.

So Marty if you want more information and a look at some issues like "ageless in America" as the oldest baby boomers are turning 62, facts about paternity leave, and possibly what the next generation of work/life benefits might look like just pick up a copy of the October issue of WORKING MOTHER or go online at workingmother.com.
                    
Tuesday, September 9, 2008

This morning I want to share something special with your audience.  The YWCA is kicking off a new program next Tuesday that I want to invite the members of your audience to participate in.  The YWCA is starting a "Lunch and Learn" series covering various topics during the 2008-2009 program year.  I bring this information to your audience this morning because the first one covers a "parenting topic."  This series of workshops will feature panels of experts who will share their knowledge on 5 topics through out this program season.

Starting on Tuesday, September 16th there will be a panel discussion every other month for the next 10 months.  Attendees may register and come to the entire series and pick only the discussions which are most relevant to them.  The topic for September is the "Sandwich Generation:Understanding the Demands of Caring for Children and Parents Simultaneously."  In November a panel will examine a "New Face of the Entrepreneur: Women as Entrepreneurs."  In March a panel will explore "Gender Speak: Women's History Month."  At the end of the series in May the topic will be "Lessons Learned in the Red Tent: Strong Women."

The inaugural panel will feature five experts on this very important, parenting issue the "Sandwich Generation: Understanding the Demands of Caring for Children and Parents Simultaneously."  This happened in my own life 4 years ago.  I still remember the phone call from my sister informing me that our mother was in intensive care following a major stroke.  The reason I was so conflicted at the time and sandwiched between generations was that I was self-employed, 4 states away, and 2 months from my daughter's wedding!  I literally got that phone call while on the road to buy furniture in Winston-Salem.  Fortunately I was able to juggle some things and got myself to Indiana to help my sister make some decisions.  Also our mom's recovery did call for some time spent in a hospital which did buy me some time to help make long-term plans.  I know now that if I had been better informed and armed with some options that I may have done things differently.

The last 4 years have been hard and stressful.  Hindsight is always of course clearer.  However, I do know that there is information now available that could have made my life easier and less stressful.  Hopefully someone can come and hear the YWCA's panel of experts and glean some information to help avoid my pitfalls.

The "Lunch and Learn" panel for this first gathering will consist of a "parenting coach" Holly Kenney, a "health expert," Zena Allen, an HR expert on the "FAMILY LEAVE ACT;" an Assisted Care professional, Jane Dover, and a representative from Hospice Life Care Center.  Each panel member will initially make a brief 10 minute presentation pertaining to their area of expertise.  This will be followed by a period of time for the participants to ask questions.  During each hour and a half panel the audience is invited to listen and eat lunch.

The first 25 people to come to the event will receive an insulated lunch bag filled with juggling balls, a pedometer and other surprises courtesy of Blue Cross/Blue Shield.  I thought the "juggling balls" were very appropriate since that is how you feel when you are the one sandwiched between two generations.  I know that for 4 years I felt that I was always trying to juggle my time between aging parents in Indiana, grandkids in California, and a life here in Wilmington that included a husband, a home, and a job.

If members of your listening audience would like more information about the "Lunch and Learn" series, they can find it on the YWCA website at www.ywca-lowercapefear.org <http://www.ywca-lowercapefear.org/> .  YWCA members will be receiving an e-news blast about this series which can be sent to you if you register on-line.  

In summary-come next Tuesday Sept. 16th to the first ever "Women's Leadership Initiative," from 11:30-1 at the YWCA.  Bring your lunch and munch along as you learn and listen to the panel of experts.  A small fee is being collected-you can save money if you sign up initially for all 5 discussions in the series.  If you have specific questions, then you can contact me or the front desk by calling (910) 799 6820 for more information.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

In about two hours there will be alot of "sighing" going on in your listening audience-the bells will have rung and the first official day of school will have started.  Today there will be lots of new kindergartners, first "dayers" in middle school and high school, and another phenomenon lots of "new moms" at school.  My own daughter-in-law had that experience this school year being the "new mom" at school-twice!!  Even though my grandchildren are only 2nd graders and 4th graders, they are in 2 different schools, K-2nd grade and 3rd-5th grade.  She gets to be the "new mom" at school twice.

According to a recent issue of PARENTING, there are ways to "approach" being the new Mom or Dad at school.  The experts tell us that just as there are "kid cliques," there are "mommy cliques," too!  If you really want to be part of a certain group of moms, don't try to approach the group leader first.  Instead watch for an opportunity to chat with a member of the group when she is alone or with just one other member.  Start with easy questions about Girl Scouts or Cub Scouts.

In addition if you are the "new mom" at school and you don't have time for "chit chat" before or after school, be careful not to leave the wrong impression with the other parents. The head of an etiquette consulting firm says you can stay friendly without burning bridges.  The consultant says to develop a mantra for saying "no," but still staying connected.  You can say something like "Thank you so much for always inviting me.  I can't make it this time, but I really appreciate being included."  This little amount of acknowledgement is all the other mothers need in order to know that you are nice, but just incredibly busy right now.  Occasionally you end up being the "new mom" at school not by your own choosing.  When schools are redistricted sometimes neighborhoods are split up.  Children from sprawling mansions have just as much fun playing in bungalows if they have a friendly welcome, good snacks, and a comfortable place to hang out.

Being the "new mom" at school definitely gets more complicated as your children get older.  Older kids have definite preferences in friends so the likelihood that you will also be friends with the parents is rare.  It is a bit awkward to approach another parent without the comfortable cushion of your kids between you.  But it is not impossible.  If you encounter another parent that you think is interesting, but your kids are not friends, then invite them to carpool to a PTA meeting or band booster meeting where the kids are not included.

Another area where being the "new mom" at school can be tricky is volunteering.  This is one of those two edged swords!  And if in addition to being the "new mom" at school, you are also working outside the home and you have other children then the role of the volunteer gets really complicated!!!  Being a volunteer is one of those selfless acts that we do for our children and our community that is both rewarding and time consuming.  Sometimes it is our own kids begging us to volunteer so that they have a parent at school like their friends.  Trying to be one of those "selfless parents" who turn volunteering into a non-paying job can be tiring.  If you don't feel comfortable being a volunteer in the classroom, then ask for jobs like running the phone-tree or school newsletter.  Volunteering is one way though to learn about the other families, meet your child's friends, and see how he behaves at school.  This can also be accomplished by volunteering at church, with a sports team or a scout group.

So for all you "new moms or new dads" at school plan a few minutes to chat either at pick-up or drop-off-just remember to chat with the children or the parents, but not with the teacher!  Teacher chats need to be by appointment.  Your child is not the only child that the teacher is responsible for and her or his time is valuable and precious.